Meet the Crew

HoneyBee

HoneyBee may rank last in crew standing but she makes up for it in girth and feistiness.  She subscribes to a zero tolerance policy when it comes to being handled in any way.  I attribute this to her weight management issue which subsequently hinders her from cleaning her own backside.  One may think that her incessant tear duct leakage, wildly unpleasant urine aroma and disagreeable demeanor would stop someone from trying to catch her if ever an attempt was made to flee the vehicle.  Au contraire, my friend.  Her mama chased her down a steep embankment just the other day, wearing a pair of slip on leopard print flats, into a thicket of brambles.  Honey's futile attempt to seek the safe haven of a beaver dam bordering the edge of a stream was foiled when her mother clumsily climbed atop the structure of twigs and smoked her out.  As Honey scrambled back up the spiny shrub covered embankment, I, feet soaked and panicked, "Honey, Honey!", grabbed onto the hairy vines and thorny bushes that were so perfectly placed to aid in the mad dash back up the slippery slope.  At the top, hands bleeding and shaking, I ran to the van and grabbed a bag of treats.  If nothing else, surely treats will lure this abnormally large mammal out of hiding.  An eternity of five whole minutes passed before I enlisted the help of Fleetwood and Mac to sniff her out.  The dogs, more of a hinderance than a help at this point, were more interested in watching me freak out than anything else.  I finally spotted Honey hunkered down in a clump of tall weeds on the edged of the incline.  As I slowly approached her, "HoneyBee, do you want a treat?", the oscillating bag of irresistible goodness enticed her to slink from hiding to see what I so thoughtfully brought her, the queen bee.  Curved halves of golden, salted cashews tumbled forth into my hand.  Cashews!  No matter, Honey was already in my relieved yet ferocious and bleeding clutches.  

Valley and Storage, The Sunshine Guys from Valley Storage Co.

           

Valley and Storage are identical twins.  They most certainly brighten my day.  On the day before my departure, I found this handsome pair of Sunshine Guys at the UPS Store/Valley Storage Co. on Leitersburg Pike in Hagerstown, MD.  As soon as I saw this silent couple I knew they were the mascots that I had been searching for.  Not only are they cute, squishy and small but they perfectly nest on my dashboard.  They have no personality and are only good for their looks, but hey, who needs a personality when you have good looks?  I'm happy to have them along for the ride.      

Spooky-Porter

Spooky-Porter is our metrosexual son.  We are very proud of him.  He looks so handsome wearing his fur leg-warmers and dainty tail puff, it's unbelievable.  He's quite possibly gay but has not come out of the closet yet.  Spooky-Porter pretty much looks like the photo above most of his waking hours.  He's neurotic, delusional, paranoid schizophrenic and a drug addict.  Like his sister, he is affectionate on his terms.  He likes to be seen and loves to be heard.  At home he can be found shredding cardboard boxes with his humungous teeth or sleeping in the bathroom sink.  I thought he would be the escape artist but it seems Honey is the one to worry about.  All joking aside, both of the cats are doing amazingly well in the van and were also enjoying either a morning or evening stroll on a leash until Honey's blatant disregard for order and structure.  They still get their daily dose of vitamin D from the safety of their large dog crate.  They are both using the litter box without complaint.  So far, so good.  Fingers crossed for 20 more days of a pee free zone.  

Fleetwood and Mac, Dogs

(cute photos and witty description pending)